


Juliet Douglas is an Alien!

by penny



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist
Genre: Community: no_true_pair, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-07-06
Updated: 2008-07-06
Packaged: 2017-10-05 16:22:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/43610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/penny/pseuds/penny
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Scieszka stopped by Amestrian Public Radio to talk about the latest installment in her <em>Falman & Rockbell Investigations</em> series, <em>Juliet Douglas is an Alien! & Other True Cases</em>. After chatting with Penelope Armstrong about the challenges of writing for children, how she incorporates Amestrian history into her stories (and the liberties she takes with it), and a bit about her own personal history, Scieszka read the following selection from the book:</p>
            </blockquote>





	Juliet Douglas is an Alien!

**Author's Note:**

> For the No True Pair prompt "they fight crime!"

_Falman &amp; Rockbell Case File 191505-01A_

It was a bright and sunny spring day in Central, and Winry Rockbell was bored. Vato Falman was, too, but you couldn't tell by looking at him. Falman always found some way to occupy his time, and today he was closing out completed case files. Thankfully, there were a lot of them. April had been a busy month, but now they were two weeks into May, and they hadn't had a new case since the 29th. At the rate he was going, he'd be done with the files tomorrow, and after sending out final invoices, he would have to resort to _cleaning_ to occupy his time.

Winry did not have Falman's patience for paperwork. She had read through her latest issues of _Automail Monthly_, the daily police bulletins for the past four weeks, and the past three issues of _Modern Investigations_ twice. She had even done the crossword puzzle in the paper, and she hated crossword puzzles! She was eyeing the duster in the corner and seriously considering dusting the blinds.

Something had to be done! She couldn't _dust_. Winry stood and planted her palms on the top of her desk. "We should go to the park."

Falman looked up from the files. "The park?"

"Something is always happening at the park. We should go. That way, when something happens, we'll be right on the scene." Winry hauled her toolbox onto her desk and tested the straps.

Falman sighed. "You don't need to take the toolbox."

"Humph." Winry slung her toolbox over her shoulder and marched towards the door. "You always say that, and then the tools end up coming in handy."

Falman sighed again. The sad thing was, she was right.

* * *

The park was, unfortunately, not busy at all. "Hmmm," Falman said, squinting at the empty playground. "Everyone must be at work."

"But there are always kids here! And mothers chatting on the benches!" Winry stood at the edge of the walkway with her hands on her hips. She didn't want to admit it to Falman, but seeing the empty swings bobbing in the gentle breeze was a little creepy.

"True," Falman said. At the very least, Gracia Hughes should be in the park with Elysia. The two came every day when the weather was nice. He took a deep breath. "Maybe we should go see Gracia and Elysia."

He'd regret the suggestion. Winry never gave up on something once she got started. Falman comforted himself with the fact Winry would have eventually thought of visiting the Hughes'.

Winry straightened up and adjusted the toolbox slung over her shoulder. "That's an excellent idea. Let's go!"

"Right." Falman fell in step behind her. He was beginning to think he should have stayed behind at the office. When Winry got like this, things tended to get...exciting. Given the choice between cleaning the office and Winry's type of exciting, cleaning seemed like the safer bet.

Still, he would be a bad partner if he let Winry face the trouble she found alone. And if Falman were completely honest with himself, he really didn't want to clean.

* * *

The Hughes' lived close to the park in a two-story house painted a warm, inviting yellow. Elysia answered the door, standing on tiptoe to keep hold of knob. "Winry!" she said, holding her arms up to be held.

"Good morning." Winry scooped her up. "We thought we'd stop by the park to see you, but you weren't there."

The little girl's eyes went wide. "Don't like the park!"

Gracia Hughes stood a few feet back. She finished wiping her hands on her apron. "The children say the fountain in the park is haunted."

"It is, mommy! I've seen the ghost's face!"

"That was just a reflection, sweetie." Gracia smiled at Winry. "Why don't you and Falman come in? We're baking cookies."

"Chocolate chip?" Winry asked, setting Elysia down.

Gracia's smile widened. "What other kind are there?"

Falman began ticking types off on his fingers. "Sugar, peanut butter, oatmeal --"

Winry rolled her eyes. "That's not what she means, Falman. Come on."

"What?" Falman asked, and the two women (and Elysia) giggled.

"So tell us more about the ghost," Winry said when they were inside the cozy kitchen, surrounded by the mouth-watering smell of baking cookies.

Gracia spooned the last of the dough onto a baking sheet. "It's silly, really. Do you remember Dora Hardy? Well, people are saying her ghost is haunting the fountain."

"It's not Mrs. Hardy. The ghost has a different face," Elysia said. "And brown hair."

"I keep telling you, sweetheart, you just saw a reflection." The timer dinged, and Gracia pulled a tray of cookies out of the oven. "Why don't you pour the milk, Winry? I don't think we're going to be able to wait for these to cool."

Gracia Hughes baked the best cookies. Winry and Falman agreed they were well worth burning their tongues on the melted chocolate chips.

* * *

Midnight found Falman crouching behind one of the bushes near the fountain in the park. Winry knelt next to him, her toolbox on the ground in front of her. Falman shifted. "This is silly."

Winry shushed him.

"You heard Gracia. Elysia just saw a reflection. And those other mothers we talked to said the same thing. The children are just spooked because someone they knew died."

"Don't you think it's suspicious that none of them are bringing their kids back to the park?"

"I'm sure everything will be back to normal in another day or two."

Winry grabbed his arm. "Look!"

The water was rising from the fountain. Falman blinked. It was impossible! But every time he opened his eyes, the water was still writhing up, slowly taking the form of a woman. And then...

Winry gasped. "It's Juliet Douglas!"

Falman couldn't believe what he was seeing. It was Juliet Douglas, the Fuhrer's secretary, stepping out of the fountain. She tossed her dark hair over her shoulder and smoothed her skirt.

"That's impossible," Falman whispered.

Winry's grip on his sleeve tightened. "Uh huh," she agreed, scooting closer.

Falman was a little reassured she was just as frightened as he was. It helped him calm down. "I wonder what she's doing here?"

Miss Douglas walked over to the swings and, after staring at them for a moment, sat down in one, rocking gently. Then she stood and went over to the teeter-totter. Falman and Winry watched her make a circuit of the playground, testing every piece of equipment. Then she went back to the fountain and melted back into the water.

Falman and Winry stayed behind the bush for a long time. Falman's legs were still shaky when he stood. "We should go back."

Winry was still clutching his sleeve. "Uh huh."

* * *

Winry was back to normal the next morning. "We should spy on Miss Douglas."

Falman knew he would regret asking. "How are we going to do that?"

"Well..." Winry bit her lower lip. "We could listen to her phone calls."

He was really going to regret asking. "How are we going to do that?"

Winry seemed to make her small screwdrivers and precision tools materialize from thin air. "Wiretap."

He was really, really going to regret asking. "How are we going to get into a position to tap her phone?"

"You still have your old military uniform, right?"

He was really, really, _really_ going to regret going along with Winry. But he had no choice. When Winry got like this, there was no stopping her, and Falman wasn't going to let her run off to have all the fun alone. "Yes."

Falman knew better than to ask where Winry got the civilian contractor uniform she was wearing. The jacket was a little small and too tight at her shoulders, and she looked a little uncomfortable in it. Still, their disguises got them inside Central Headquarters, and soon enough, they were at the maintenance tunnel on the west side of the building.

"It's a shame it's locked," Falman said, not sorry to see the six padlocks on the tunnel's door. "I guess we'll have to go back to --"

"Done!" Winry said, pulling open the door. The padlocks were strewn on the ground in front of her.

"Of course you are." Falman sighed and crawled in after her. It was more exciting than cleaning, but Falman didn't want the excitement of getting caught trespassing. For some reason, the military frowned on such actions.

They reached the telephone panel. Winry pulled a list of Central Headquarters' extensions out of her jacket pocket and searched for Juliet Douglas' name. Then she found the right extension on the panel and hooked in.

Falman pinched the bridge of his nose. "Do I want to know where you got the list of extensions?"

"No." Winry handed him a set of headphones. "Now we just have to wait for her to get a phone call."

Meanwhile, the door to the tunnel was sitting open. Falman took the headphones and hoped Miss Douglas got a phone call soon.

* * *

An hour later, Juliet Douglas got her first phone call. The line was scratchy, and Falman had a hard time hearing. By the way Winry was scrunching up her face and pressing her headphones tight against her ears, she was having a hard time, too.

"Envy, I told you not to use this line. It's not secure."

"Oh, relax, little sister. I'm not going to say anything incriminating. I just wanted to let you know I'm ready to deliver my report."

"I'll be in place tonight." There was a pause, and then Miss Douglas said, "Now if you excuse me, there's something I need to take care of."

The line went dead. Falman frowned and took off his headset. "We should go," he said. He didn't like the unsettled feeling in his stomach, like somehow, Miss Douglas knew they had been eavesdropping.

"Yeah." Winry disconnected the tap from the phone panel. "I wonder what that meant."

"Speculation can wait until we're outside." Falman didn't like how confined the maintenance tunnel seemed. He was being irrational, but he felt like they were being watched.

Winry made a terrified squeaking sound behind him. Falman stopped crawling and looked over his shoulder.

Miss Douglas was pouring down from between the joins of one of the pipes. Her body was watery and translucent, all except for her face, which looked faintly curious as her next extended towards Winry.

Winry screamed and scampered backwards. "I'm sorry! It's just that..."

Miss Douglas slithered along after Winry.

"You're scaring the kids in the park!" Winry finished. She bumped into Falman and let out a little yelp.

Miss Douglas stopped and frowned. "The children?" Her expression turned sad. Then she seemed to sink into the ground.

Falman helped Winry the rest of the way out of the tunnel. Getting out into the sunlight had never felt so good.

* * *

Despite their fear, they were back at the park that night. Winry hugged her favorite wrench to her chest. Falman wished he had something like it. He'd certainly feel safer with something big and heavy in hand, but Winry wouldn't let him near her tools.

This time, he was prepared for Miss Douglas rising from the fountain. She made her circuit of the playground again and then came back to sit on the edge of the fountain. It looked like she was waiting for someone.

Winry shifted, and Falman inched a little closer to her. "Look over there."

Someone was balancing on the top of the swings. "Hello, little sister." The figure launched from the swings and flipped down to land gracefully at the edge of the gravel.

Envy. The voice was rich and smooth, not scratchy from the phone line. Falman held his breath.

Miss Douglas rose from the edge of the fountain. "We have to find a new landing point. We're frightening the children."

In the moonlight, Envy's smile was sharp and wild. "It's too late for that. And I don't care about the children anyway."

"It's not too late, and _I_ care. Go tell mother."

Envy shook his head. "No way."

"She placed me in charge. Now go."

"No. You're a little young to be giving me orders."

Miss Douglas sighed, and she swirled up into her watery form. "Then you leave me no choice." She coiled around Envy.

Winry rose, a protest half-formed on her lips. Miss Douglas turned her head to face them. "This is none of your business," she said, pulling Envy the rest of the way into her. "I'd rather not report native interference to mother."

Falman stood and placed his hand on Winry's shoulder. "Um, we're just making sure nobody comes in the park, ma'am. Carry on."

"Thank you." Miss Douglas stretched into a thin, thin line, and then she shot up into the sky, leaving a trail like a comet.

"Ummm," Winry said, blinking up at the stars. "What was that?"

"My best guess? She's an alien."

"There's no such thing as aliens!" Winry said.

"Then you complete the report." Falman gave her a gentle tug. "Come on. Let's go home. In the morning, we can tell Elysia it's safe to come back to the park."

"She's not an alien."

Falman shrugged. He was tired of being the rational one. It was about time the duty fell to Winry. He wondered if he could convince her the rational one had to clean the office.


End file.
